Marilyn Weinberg

One of my treasured memories was my Bat Mitzvah at Beth Israel at age 42 with Marina Singer.

In 1983, when my son was ready for Hebrew School, one of our members asked if I would start a program in Bath and I agreed. I began with five children (including my son) meeting once a month. My son was a quick learner, and it didn’t take too long for him to catch up with my skimpy knowledge. So, I began to read and study on my own. I found it fascinating.

My son Aaron had recently become a Bar Mitzvah in May of 1990. In those days there was no Rabbi or Cantor at Beth Israel. We were so fortunate in finding Michael Smith, a Bowdoin student, to tutor our B’nai Mitzvah candidates. Aaron and I met Michael each week before his Bar Mitzvah at Coles Tower on campus and it was easier for me to just stay during his lessons. We developed a wonderful friendship.

Marina and I were both brought up in a small town with a fairly traditional Jewish background. Our synagogues were orthodox and for a girl to become a Bat Mitzvah was not allowed. I attended Hebrew School for several years and that was that.

During the time when Michael Smith was tutoring my son for his Bar Mitzvah, he suggested that Marina and I both consider becoming a Bat Mitzvah. We had both taught Hebrew and Jewish holidays and history for many years but had never learned the full Sabbath service.

We knew that the only way to learn was to commit ourselves to this very special ritual. Working with Marina along with a supportive teacher (Michael) turned out to be such a positive experience.

We planned the service to be fun and traditional at the same time. We held it on a Saturday afternoon, (only three Aliyiot and no Haftarah) followed by a Havdalah service. Of course, Marina and I spent the few hours before the service in the downstairs kitchen wearing aprons to cover our dresses preparing the food. We both love to sing, and we did a lot of it. In addition, Ben Singer sang and played guitar and Marina’s friends from Woolwich Central School serenaded us with the “Sabbath Song” from Fiddler on the Roof.

We read from the Torah and gave a speech and our parents and close family all participated with prayers and readings. We were surrounded by family and the very small but loving Beth Israel community.

At the end Don Povich “conducted” the congregation in Adon Olam and we returned downstairs to munch on the goodies we had made and danced the hora as Nancy Hoffman played the accordion.

I found that at age 42 I could appreciate my Jewish identity and background so much more than I ever did at age 13.

After our ceremony I asked Michael if he might come once a month and lead Shabbat services. He agreed and Michael began a 3–4 year commitment to Beth Israel of leading monthly Shabbat services and tutoring our B’nai Mitzvah students even after he graduated from Bowdoin. The tutoring sessions were done on the phone. This was before Facetime and way before Zoom. We all loved Michael. Many years later I was invited to Michael’s children’s B’nei Mitzvah.

It is now 30 years later, and I realize that this experience cemented my commitment to Judaism and to Beth Israel Congregation. In a sense the children inspired me, and Michael gave me the confidence to try new things and become more of a leader. Whatever your age or experience I would encourage anybody to consider becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Find a partner or several partners. You can make it whatever you want. What a joy.